Heels Over Heads

People who shouldn't wear 5-inch plus heels:

1. people with really large heads (like the red queen)
2. people with anterior head carriage (like most people)
3. really short people (not midgets, midgets are cool)
4. fat people (like me, but I wear them anyway)
5. people who can't strut their stuff
6. people who wear the wrong season's heel, like circa 2005 pointy toes (though they're coming back in turqoise soon. stay tuned!)
7. people who wear stripper heels shoes (unless they're made of this season's hot lucite and are platforms by a major designer; Fredericks of Hollywood is not a major designer)

There you have it.