For the first time in my long and fruitful relationship with Dr. S. he doesn't get me. By saying that I hate myself and think I'm despicable I am not denying fat people basic human dignity. All I'm saying is that I hate myself in this fat suit. I don't deny fat people the right to live or the pursuit of happiness. By all means, go for the cakes and eat them, too. I'm just saying, that for this former kitten, being fat poisons my life and my relationships. I cannot be free and spontaneous or even witty and clever. I'm bound and gagged. That's all I'm saying. But he's an enlightened being living in quasi nirvana where we don't even have bodies. I cannot blame him. When he looks at me, he sees right into my soul.
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