Nausea. I'm not talking of your garden variety French existential ennui but real physical vomiting sickness. For some reason it is heartbreaking to watch a baby puke. The convulsions, the heaving, the scared crying. Because the baby has no idea what is happening to him. I feel like I myself cannot get better because the worry over Milan not keeping fluids down is depressing my immune system. It's dry and hot and I'm getting eczema, an angry outbreak on my hands. I feel scared somehow and I've already taken several xanaxes. I can't eat. This almost feels worse than garden variety French existential ennui.
All babies get sick. But not all babies have a mother like you who takes their anguish to heart; who aches for them; who loves them the way you do. So even when he's sick, Milan is among the fortunate.
ReplyDeleteSo true Kim. ahh Milan. "Garden variety French existential ennui", nyuk nyuk nyuk...
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