Pilates

I don't know why I took a Pilates class this week, but so what, I did. The teacher was ten minutes late and ended class ten minutes early. But that wasn't it. The fact that the class had no soul wasn't it either. But 15 minutes in, with all of us lying supine with our legs raised at a 45 degree angle, a pregnant woman walked in and put down her mat. She looked about 30 plus weeks. She should have been next door in prenatal yoga and I was going to say something but waited to see what would happen. The teacher was oblivious. Then another student said to the ripe mama-to-be, hey, you should probably be next door. And the idiot teacher said: 'Oh, no, Pilates is great for pregnant women!' You stupid, stupid cow! Not only should that mama not be lying flat on her back. She also shouldn't focus on rock hard abs. You feckin moron!

The Horrors

My band days are over. The Horrors at the El Rey = horror. KCRW crowd in baseball caps and football jerseys instead of eyeliner-wearing emo boys. Boring college kids with zero style or charisma. Who were the Horrors performing for? A sad representation of a city that at one point actually did have style. And then, of course, the usual suspects who experience the whole show through their cell phone or camera. And the young couples sitting side by side, texting people, together and yet light years apart. At one point A. asked me if I missed going out. I said no way. He said he didn't either. I said, how come? He said, not if going out means this.

Cops

I did nothing bad, but I ran a stop sign because I was running out of gas. At least that's my logic. The cops didn't find it logical though and I had to walk and then talk my way out of going to jail, when they said my eyes looked bloodshot and shifty. I said I had one drink and I have allergies and I'm just a shifty looking kind of person. Then they noticed I'm not from around here and we talked about the Autobahn a bit and exchanged a bit of racism about illegal aliens. I think that got me off the hook. Thank you!!! Nevertheless, my mind keeps going back and back and back to the image of myself on the corner of Figueroa and Ave. 50, against a fence with three cop cars surrounding me, and the Mc Donalds sign in the corner of my eye and the near fatal brush with a DUI. The stuff of nightmares.

Pissing on Larchmont

Men are from Mars. I've always been one to defend the weaker sex, but the fact that they think they can piss anywhere...? I may need to reconsider. Got my tall nonfat latte before work on Wed. morning and as I waited at the red light on the corner of Larchmont and Third, a man pissed onto a telephone pole. It was 9:20 a.m.

Go Swork Yourself

If you choose to work on your laptop on your pointless screenplay at SWORK, which bills itself as a place for little kids with a play corner and tons of toys and all, and you hear my child cry because he fell, don't give me several dirty looks you feckin asshole. Go work at home. Or get a job. You loser!

Other than that, Swork rocks!
http://www.swork.com/sworkland/

Happy Thoughts

dead leaves
M's drawings
green tea
shoulder pads
halloween
Wagner
Waldorf
Weleda body wash
the horrors
Monique Lange

Swastika Eyes

Swastika Eyes is a song by Primal Scream. I was just thinking about eyes, because mine have been itching like crazy and I'm starting to have eczema around the eyes, which looks like wrinkles. When I was much younger, I worked for a film magazine with a girl whose eyes were so wrinkled from eczema that she looked like a lizard. I will never forget her face. So just now I Googled eczema images and found one that almost made me throw up my salmon and spinach dinner. It is too gnarly to post. I must count my blessings.