Occasionally I slip into an alternate universe where I get karmically punished for being a flake and not calling people back. Such as yesterday. After trying to reach the dopey Spanish lawyer who hit my car for two days, he finally condescended to taking care of this small matter. As we were walking down the depressing hallway to his sword-infested office, the following conversation ensues:
He: Have you been losing weight?
Me: not really.
He: you really should
Me: well, it's not working
He: it's such a shame. You used to be so beautiful. All you need to do is diet and exercise
me: silent
he: you're face is still beautiful though! It’s just such a waste.
in his office:
he, to his secretary: doesn't she have a beautiful face? Like a model. She just needs to lose weight.
me: (murderous thoughts)
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